The simplest answer would be, the university exam. Believe it or not, I am studying so hard for it, even if I am not responsible in maths and geometry as much as the Maths-Lit students (I am an English/Language student.) The thing is, I want to go to one of Turkey's best universities, majoring in graphics and design and they take students with "talent exams" It is a private university and it is pretty expensive, so I am aiming to go there with a full scholarship or a 50% scholarship. Well to do this, I have to be like... The first in the talent exams, and I am so stressed out. I don't really trust myself with the talent exams, I always cry whenever I think of it, even if people around me say I am good at drawing. All of my teachers are supporting me and I am so grateful, but every passing day I am getting closer to those exams, which are making me feel terrified. Apart from the talent exam, I need to take the main university exams, which everybody has to attend to. So I will try to get a high score on that, so that it will support me even just a little, when I am trying to enter the university with talent exams. Like, the dean will look at my score and maybe it will make a difference on getting scholarship. They give full scholarship to only 3 people, so I don't have much high hopes on that but I am definitely aiming the 50% one.
So yeah, I am just so fucking nervous, I always cry after my art lessons because I can't seem to like the things I draw, even if they actually look good. So I havent done any digital drawing for months, I am only learning the techical side of drawing for the exams. I am also drawing things for fun, (for example, I am currently drawing Avatar Wan, the first Avatar, which I am hoping to put here this month) but I have been doing traditional drawings. And sketching.
First up is the main university exam, so I am focusing on maths/history/turkish exc. so, I am sorry that I won't be active at least until that exam has passed. It is on 23th of March (only 138 days left, fuck fuck fuck! I still suck at lessons!) And then, no more studying. Just English, (for the second part of the university exams, and I am lucky to be an English student) and drawing. If I don't feel so nervous, I am planning on learning photoshop fully (which will probably help me get the place in the university.) so maybe then I will be able to put new things here.
Until then... I am just taking a break. See you in March!